Addressing My Postings & Why

[Hautee]

Hi everyone. For those of you who may not know me very well, I'm sinhai (aka Amoua) and I wanted to deliver a message and address a few things with you all in regards to my recent forum postings such as my status and messages.

For those of you unaware of my conditions, I suffer with mental illnesses in my life(all of them confirmed by my doctors and they have been diagnosed to me) and I will list them off:

Depression
Anxiety
Autism Spectrum (ASD is a developmental disorder that affects communication and behavior. Difficulty with communication and interaction with other people)

Of all these mental illnesses, I may be diagnosed with more considering the fact that I'm growing worse as years pass and it isn't because of games or anything else, but mainly because of the idea that my life is filled with horrible people who want to cause me to burn into my own being.

I'll describe my detail in a hidden box below and allow you all to read the truth about me and my impact and family.

Spoiler: Truth & Impact

I was born in April of 2003, therefore making me 16 years old today. My family over the years have gotten richer due to my dad's success and studies. He is currently a CEO at a hospital in my town in the state of Wisconsin, USA. He is very successful because of his studies and efforts, therefore causing me to be a target unlike my sisters. My three sisters aren't targeted, but I am because of my disabilities and because of how different I am. I'm not spoiled at all, mainly because I work hard for my money.

With that, my family is else wise successful and my sisters are pursuing their dreams while I finish off high school. I'm a Junior and will be graduating in January of 2021 due to me graduating early as a senior. Back to the story!

The question now is this:
"Why am I posting this type of content on my status on the forums?"

Me addressing this is already hard and therefore you all must understand that I mean no harm in saying what I'm saying. The answer is because I can't find any other site to post it on. My spam account on Instagram was recently deleted as well as my Twitter account due to the consistent spam and community guideline restrictions that I've broken. That being said, I don't want to get terminated on here, and soon my messages will be deleted to make sure people are so concerned with me.

Another question is this:
"What's happening and why is this happening?"

I honestly wish I knew why all of this is happening, but the least I can say is because of my successful family and how much wealth we have. Part of me wants to say that I'm not a good fit for this world, but a small part says I should stay for the sake of my family and for my own future. I am destined to work in Court or do other things along the lines of Court or Writing or even Singing(I'll do covers if you want. We need karaoke on discord I swear).

No matter what answer I give, all of them are unknown to me and these situations happen every single day that I'm at my high school. I'm pushed, shoved, called names(whore, slut, etc), and even made of in the hallways or during class. I've been cyber bullied multiple times and it doesn't stop. It won't ever stop mainly because of the idea that I'm "spoiled" and that my family has more money than somebody else! My DAD worked his ASS OFF for his degree and even had to stay up all night just to study or work on homework for college! HE WORKED HARD AND THE SAME GOES FOR MY MOM AND EVEN MY SISTERS RIGHT NOW!

With that aside, I want to say one more thing before I end this post. I'm sorry to those who are offended by my postings or think wrong of it. My situation right now is causing me to lose my shit and I didn't mean to make it seem that way. With all that said, I will be releasing updates on other forum postings so be sure to check those out once they come out. For now, thank you for understanding and have a wonderful weekend.​

 

[JepTheLegend]

Good luck fam, I know the struggle

 

[Hautee]

no one cares

Click to shrink...

K, be a dick then. These are the type of people I can't stand. YOU HAVE NO PLACE FOR A COMMENT SO LEAVE.

 

[Hautee]

Some people are just ignorant, even if you were a bit different you have tons of room for self-improvement but you cant do anything under a stressful, lonesome enviornment.

Click to shrink...

Mhm. I wish I could change, but I know it won't be right.

 

[TheBioverse]

I certainly won't pretend to understand dealing with the demons you do, but (speaking from experience) it's always wiser to avoid mentioning financial situations altogether. Presuming you let it slip you're very well off, that changes people's perceptions of you drastically (especially in a community of say, escapists looking to avoid confronting their own IRL situations). Trust me, it's better to come out and say "I have XYZ issues and I'd appreciate a little leniency as I come to terms with/cope with it" instead of tagging on your background.

But that's milk spilt and no need to dwell over it. Right now you have the privilege of being well-off enough to seek professional help, which I highly encourage. Try your best to take it seriously and make the most of it. Distance yourself from this feeling that your family wealth has to be this part of you people chide/poke fun at. It'll create this awful feedback loop where you'll feel you're nothing more than your finances. That kind of superficial outlook does so much harm to self-esteem.

Finally, we all like to vent in private discords, posts on the forums, etc and expel the toxicity building up. The choice you ought to consider is dumping your waste responsibly. Say you want to stick around here and keep a good impression of yourself, perhaps try out an app like Vent; allows for anonymous venting of problems. That way your persona here isn't inherently associated with negativity (as shallow as it sounds, it really do be like that sometimes.)

By no means am I a professional in matters of the mind/psyche, but your background/situation struck a certain chord and I'm just passing along the advice I wish I'd been handed.

All the best to you, friend. @sinhai

 

[Altalar]

.-.

 

[Altalar]

no one cares

Click to shrink...

go back to eating cabbage soup

 

[Altalar]

I certainly won't pretend to understand dealing with the demons you do, but (speaking from experience) it's always wiser to avoid mentioning financial situations altogether. Presuming you let it slip you're very well off, that changes people's perceptions of you drastically (especially in a community of say, escapists looking to avoid confronting their own IRL situations). Trust me, it's better to come out and say "I have XYZ issues and I'd appreciate a little leniency as I come to terms with/cope with it" instead of tagging on your background.

But that's milk spilt and no need to dwell over it. Right now you have the privilege of being well-off enough to seek professional help, which I highly encourage. Try your best to take it seriously and make the most of it. Distance yourself from this feeling that your family wealth has to be this part of you people chide/poke fun at. It'll create this awful feedback loop where you'll feel you're nothing more than your finances. That kind of superficial outlook does so much harm to self-esteem.

Finally, we all like to vent in private discords, posts on the forums, etc and expel the toxicity building up. The choice you ought to consider is dumping your waste responsibly. Say you want to stick around here and keep a good impression of yourself, perhaps try out an app like Vent; allows for anonymous venting of problems. That way your persona here isn't inherently associated with negativity (as shallow as it sounds, it really do be like that sometimes.)

By no means am I a professional in matters of the mind/psyche, but your background/situation struck a certain chord and I'm just passing along the advice I wish I'd been handed.

All the best to you, friend. @sinhai

Click to shrink...

oh wow your actually compassionate who knew

 

[Hautee]

I certainly won't pretend to understand dealing with the demons you do, but (speaking from experience) it's always wiser to avoid mentioning financial situations altogether. Presuming you let it slip you're very well off, that changes people's perceptions of you drastically (especially in a community of say, escapists looking to avoid confronting their own IRL situations). Trust me, it's better to come out and say "I have XYZ issues and I'd appreciate a little leniency as I come to terms with/cope with it" instead of tagging on your background.

But that's milk spilt and no need to dwell over it. Right now you have the privilege of being well-off enough to seek professional help, which I highly encourage. Try your best to take it seriously and make the most of it. Distance yourself from this feeling that your family wealth has to be this part of you people chide/poke fun at. It'll create this awful feedback loop where you'll feel you're nothing more than your finances. That kind of superficial outlook does so much harm to self-esteem.

Finally, we all like to vent in private discords, posts on the forums, etc and expel the toxicity building up. The choice you ought to consider is dumping your waste responsibly. Say you want to stick around here and keep a good impression of yourself, perhaps try out an app like Vent; allows for anonymous venting of problems. That way your persona here isn't inherently associated with negativity (as shallow as it sounds, it really do be like that sometimes.)

By no means am I a professional in matters of the mind/psyche, but your background/situation struck a certain chord and I'm just passing along the advice I wish I'd been handed.

All the best to you, friend. @sinhai

Click to shrink...

Your comment here just made me wonder about why I'm doing this. Relatively, I'm an idiot for posting this type of shit and I appreciate you taking the time to actually address it to me.

Again, I didn't want to cause harm or make anyone feel like I was in danger, my current state right now is stable all thanks to my parents. They understand my problem very well and others have addressed me on the forums via private messages or on discord and I appreciate it very much and it really does help me.

I'm acting weird, but I'm seeking good help this week and I'm trying to get my shit together. I'm gonna be on roleplay soon or build. Thank you very much for your comment.

-Sinhai

 

[Hautee]

oh wow your actually compassionate who knew

Click to shrink...

i love you mom

 

[Altalar]

i love you mom

Click to shrink...

From one girl w autism to other i'll always have your back dont u worry abt that.

i took a break from massive because I developed such a severe paranoia from all the directed targeting from players who didn't even ask my side of the story mixed with some subconscious stockholm syndrome that it ruined so many of my friendships with people on here.. it helped me a lot and I think it'll help you to. <3 !! im always here to send you memes tho.

 

[Hautee]

From one girl w autism to other i'll always have your back dont u worry abt that.

i took a break from massive because I developed such a severe paranoia from all the directed targeting from players who didn't even ask my side of the story mixed with some subconscious stockholm syndrome that it ruined so many of my friendships with people on here.. it helped me a lot and I think it'll help you to. <3 !! im always here to send you memes tho.

Click to shrink...

gimme a meme