Why Smile?
Red.
The room was dark but his thoughts were red.
The color of love. The color of his scarf. The color of passion and strength..
Red the color staining the clothes of the Ardelans after someone had crossed them.
The color of anger.. rage... blood.
The boy screwed his eyes shut as he lay still in his bed, gripping the thin blankets as his chest heaved rythemcally up and down.. up down. Air felt heavier, he couldn't breathe, the blankets were strangling him.
Red, the color of blood. The color of fire.
The blankets were on fire, he was on fire.
A shuddering sob escaped Oz as he ripped the blankets off and sat up quickly, leaping off his bed. Something fell off the table beside the bed as he stumbled into it, crashing loudly to the floor and tripping the boy. The floor was cold and hard but Oz didn't notice. The only thing he noticed was the sound of someone crying, no someone was screaming. He clamped his hands over his ears, leaning against the wall as he drew his knees up to his chest. He was alone in the room though, no one was there.
What is wrong with me! What is WRONG with me?!
The room fell silent. The only noise was the soft tapping of the rain on the cracked window Oz had yet to fix.
The boy slowly moved his hands from his ears, clutching the scarf around his neck tightly. Focusing on calming his erratic breathing was the only thing on his mind. Oz recognized the agonizing sensation of being unable to breathe, of feeling trapped, in danger. He had to focus if he wanted to feel better, he knew that much.
Red. Its the color of love. It's the color of will power and courage. Red is the color of Adrian's hair. There. Now he was starting to calm down. Maybe that was it? Maybe he just had to think of his friends. He had lots of those. Didn't he?
There was Adrian and Kahur. And... Mark was nice sometimes. He had a dog. Alister and Keres were also great but.. they didn't really keep him around much. There was Dorian, he cared enough to adopt him but that didn't really last long. Dorian was dead.
Oz rummaged through his thoughts as he shivered alone in the corner of his room with only the raggedy scarf to warm him. Maybe Saen or Fio found a friend in him? How about Reyes or Poppy? Or Tali, Azra, Ed, Moji or Kris? No. Probably not. No. They had told him to get lost. That he was annoying, an orphan, a brat, stupid, in the way, useless, weak, better off dead.
Maybe they weren't really his friends. No matter how much Ozy wanted them to be and how much he liked them. They'd be happier if he had died. The more the thoughts rushed through his mind, the more Oz figured that he couldn't really blame them. He couldn't do anything right, only made things worse. He looked to the window, slowly standing and shuffling over to it, staring down at the dark street below.
Maybe he was better off dead.
A familiar fear washed over Oz as he continued to stare blankly at the street before he tore his gaze away and removed his hand from the latch on the window. He just had to cheer up, get his mind off the dark thoughts swirling around within him. He could do that, he's done it before, he just had to smile through it like his mother had always told him to do.
Pain flickered across the young boy's soft eyes as he sunk back down on the bed against the wall. He only now realized how cheesy that sounded, even if he had been giving himself that advice for years. He couldn't help but ask himself why he should.
Why smile?
Oz shifted back under the covers of the bed, pulling them up to his chin as he rolled over onto his side to watch the cold raindrops slide down the glass of the window.
If you don't no one likes you. If you don't you're giving up. If you don't the pain doesn't end.
Sleep over took the boy as his eyes fluttered shut, drifting off as he deciphered the answer to his question.
Because if you don't smile the nightmares can win.
Check out these amazing people who I mentioned in this story <3
Adrian Marth: @Mistles
Kahu Kapono: @MippyMoo
Saen: @CRASHIR
Fiorella: @NoRezForYou
Reyes Velasquez: @SlyChung
Moji Shimizu: @Athelois
Kristoph Ardelan: @XPONCEFTWX
Keres Victoria: @Farryn
Alister Waterlow: @Fireright
Cillian Mur-- Dorian Ardelan(RIP): @Yigit
Ed: @LlamaDelBae
Taliandra Jouhari: @Katiesc
Poppy: @Mandyy_
Azra: @AtticCat
Markolf: @Bearacuda
Adrian Marth: @Mistles
Kahu Kapono: @MippyMoo
Saen: @CRASHIR
Fiorella: @NoRezForYou
Reyes Velasquez: @SlyChung
Moji Shimizu: @Athelois
Kristoph Ardelan: @XPONCEFTWX
Keres Victoria: @Farryn
Alister Waterlow: @Fireright
Cillian Mur-- Dorian Ardelan(RIP): @Yigit
Ed: @LlamaDelBae
Taliandra Jouhari: @Katiesc
Poppy: @Mandyy_
Azra: @AtticCat
Markolf: @Bearacuda
Thank you guys for reading this! I really enjoyed writing it and thought it would give some insight to the other side of my character in addition to helping me figure him out a little bit better. I did tag everyone I mentioned in the story in case you're reading this and curious about their amazing characters! Much love, friends!
Last edited:
