Mood
His first drink had been one long ago, at the young age of twenty. Soon after graduation from the Viridian Order, celebration was clearly necessary, and he found in the drink something he couldn't seem to get from anything else. So he kept at it, seeing no reason to give it up. After all, it wasn't as if he was dependent on it.
Then came the first tragedy. His father, simply torn from the world by a dark perversion of life, his mother, bedridden and ill. It caused guilt, regret, pain, loss— but also something new, hatred. Something he hated in himself. So he fought it it the only way he knew - drowning it. And now he could find peace, yet only in the bottom of an empty bottle. He searched for it other ways, with his music, with art, and finally with simply pushing himself into everything else, forcing himself to ignore the demons. And, of course, this peace did not last either.
When he first realized he couldn't stop, if he wanted to, years had passed. He was nearly thirty now, likely shortening his lifespan with every hangover. He could always find a reason to drink — when he was celebrating, when he was morning, when he was afraid, when he was bored, but most of all, when he needed peace, albeit a peace that would be gone the next morning when he woke up, replaced by the sickness that came afterwards. And he still found a way to defend it. He tried to tell himself he could stop if he tried, but he never did, because he knew what it meant, should he fail.
It was her that started the process of changing things. Because with her, with his love, he found a peace like no temporary aid he had used before. No, with her, he had a lasting peace, a stronger peace, a more real peace. It wasn't a perfect solution, no, but it was better than his current fix. He still drank, but it became by choice, not out of need. And he owed it to her.
((OOC: This was a bit difficult to write, and came out a bit short, but I think it improved the final product. Thanks for reading, somewhat new style for me I guess. Tag list @RedSentinel @Nudibronch @Gabauchi @Friendly_Gal @Spectriel @Puagrace @AtticCat @Metallum_ @Daekon @KiddingAround @ZiggyStarDusted @Ghirko @Ellimairy @Rosemberry @SpoopMelon @Fluffy_Rose_9 @IriCrescent @Smiffs @Emo_Bunny @BeashSlap))
His first drink had been one long ago, at the young age of twenty. Soon after graduation from the Viridian Order, celebration was clearly necessary, and he found in the drink something he couldn't seem to get from anything else. So he kept at it, seeing no reason to give it up. After all, it wasn't as if he was dependent on it.
Then came the first tragedy. His father, simply torn from the world by a dark perversion of life, his mother, bedridden and ill. It caused guilt, regret, pain, loss— but also something new, hatred. Something he hated in himself. So he fought it it the only way he knew - drowning it. And now he could find peace, yet only in the bottom of an empty bottle. He searched for it other ways, with his music, with art, and finally with simply pushing himself into everything else, forcing himself to ignore the demons. And, of course, this peace did not last either.
When he first realized he couldn't stop, if he wanted to, years had passed. He was nearly thirty now, likely shortening his lifespan with every hangover. He could always find a reason to drink — when he was celebrating, when he was morning, when he was afraid, when he was bored, but most of all, when he needed peace, albeit a peace that would be gone the next morning when he woke up, replaced by the sickness that came afterwards. And he still found a way to defend it. He tried to tell himself he could stop if he tried, but he never did, because he knew what it meant, should he fail.
It was her that started the process of changing things. Because with her, with his love, he found a peace like no temporary aid he had used before. No, with her, he had a lasting peace, a stronger peace, a more real peace. It wasn't a perfect solution, no, but it was better than his current fix. He still drank, but it became by choice, not out of need. And he owed it to her.
((OOC: This was a bit difficult to write, and came out a bit short, but I think it improved the final product. Thanks for reading, somewhat new style for me I guess. Tag list @RedSentinel @Nudibronch @Gabauchi @Friendly_Gal @Spectriel @Puagrace @AtticCat @Metallum_ @Daekon @KiddingAround @ZiggyStarDusted @Ghirko @Ellimairy @Rosemberry @SpoopMelon @Fluffy_Rose_9 @IriCrescent @Smiffs @Emo_Bunny @BeashSlap))
